Loose Ends

Posted by Melina and Denise , Saturday, March 16, 2013 10:59 AM

My life is pretty busy though I think most people think I spend most of my time sitting around watching reality television. Don't get me wrong; there is lots of reality TV, the more vapid the better. A Real Housewives marathon is enough to make us squeal with joy, but mainly because it doesn't require us to turn our brains on while we are doing other work.

Our living room is a production area with sewing and chainmail zones. The only thing that is a constant during all of that Etsy work is writing. No matter what else I am doing, whether at the day job or chainmailling or laying in bed trying to fall asleep, for so long all I can think about is the novel. What is the next chapter? Did that last part work? When can I find the time to get a few more pages done?

I have been driven to get the first novel done as it seems a hurdle that I have to get over. I did it and now it's in the hands of an editor because the next step is to receive feedback and learn from it. 

Where does this leave me right now?

I have been making more jewelry and spending more time on the shop, but there has been a hollowness that I couldn't explain. Like no matter how much work I did in these areas it is not really productive. What is missing is that underlying drive to work on that project that means everything to me. 

It's like my brain doesn't know what to do with the spare time.

I want to be a writer more than anything, but I don't want to be a writer without a house. Without a car. I don't want to be an unhealthy writer who doesn't take the time to take care of herself. Writing can't be the only thing I think about.

I need to work on the rest of my life and not be so single-minded in my focus. I have now idea how to do that, but I guess learning is just another goal.

~ Denise

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