Way too much time has been spent thinking about the ways in which 2013 sucked. Time to move on, move forward without looking back. So the question becomes, what will have change by NYE 2014? I have some thoughts.
1 - We will be 'financially better off' (clue as to where we work). All fallout of the Grand Insurance Debacle of 2013 will be a distant memory. YES!
2 - My novel will have been self-published. That simple fact will make it a successful venture. I just can't predict beyond that. Too scary.
3 - Melina will have spent a great year getting back into painting. She's really amazing at it and I can't wait for everyone to see what she can do. I am so excited by this!! She will even have a site set up.
4 - I will have a draft finished of a second novel. That's right, I said it!!!
5 - We will be so totally strong and healthy. Amazon-strong!
Bottom line is that we will be way closer to the ultimate goals we talk about in the site - independent lives living in the Valley in a great house. Writing / painting and crafting full time.
This is our year people! Stand back.
~ Denise
I had no idea what to expect when I sent my novel off to an editor. I was scared. Really scared. Possibility of vomiting scared. Now, I don't know if all editorial experiences work out like mine did, but it was worth every barfy second.
I had been given the date when she was starting to work on my novel, and that morning I received a prompt email from the lovely
Genevieve Graham. She outlined a little about how she would work, emailing questions as they came along.
This was one of the greatest things about the process and Genevieve specifically: the constant contact. We communicated by email every day multiple times. She would always ask for clarification before making a change and explained her reasoning clearly. She was also open to any questions I had about the writing and publishing process. Trust me, some of these must have been annoying. I am a classic newbie.
I was completely unprepared for how stressful this process would be. I thought turning the piece over to a stranger would be the hardest part, but it went far beyond that. Writing means everything to me. The fear that I would be told I was wasting my time was paralyzing. I always thought I was fairly confident about my writing, instead each critique had the potential to break me. Luckily, Genevieve was so constructive and kind that these concerns were never realized.
I now have an edited novel to work with. Just a few tweaks here and there. I am SO happy with the result, I can't even tell you. And I have such an amazing feeling of accomplishment!
Look, she even made up a mock cover to include on her own website!
Now on to the next step: publication!
~ Denise
My life is pretty busy though I think most people think I spend most of my time sitting around watching reality television. Don't get me wrong; there is lots of reality TV, the more vapid the better. A Real Housewives marathon is enough to make us squeal with joy, but mainly because it doesn't require us to turn our brains on while we are doing other work.
Our living room is a production area with sewing and chainmail zones. The only thing that is a constant during all of that Etsy work is writing. No matter what else I am doing, whether at the day job or chainmailling or laying in bed trying to fall asleep, for so long all I can think about is the novel. What is the next chapter? Did that last part work? When can I find the time to get a few more pages done?
I have been driven to get the first novel done as it seems a hurdle that I have to get over. I did it and now it's in the hands of an editor because the next step is to receive feedback and learn from it.
Where does this leave me right now?
I have been making more jewelry and spending more time on the shop, but there has been a hollowness that I couldn't explain. Like no matter how much work I did in these areas it is not really productive. What is missing is that underlying drive to work on that project that means everything to me.
It's like my brain doesn't know what to do with the spare time.
I want to be a writer more than anything, but I don't want to be a writer without a house. Without a car. I don't want to be an unhealthy writer who doesn't take the time to take care of herself. Writing can't be the only thing I think about.
I need to work on the rest of my life and not be so single-minded in my focus. I have now idea how to do that, but I guess learning is just another goal.
~ Denise
I received an email from the editor I will be working with to tell me that she will be starting on it during the week of March 18th. Time frame! Now I know exactly when the worst of the terror will set in.
I feel like a wimp. Unless it involves speaking in front of people, which is shocking as I have such a big mouth, I don't generally feel like I am going to vomit at the thought of doing something. I spend most of my life without barfy feelings. But the thought of having someone else, a total stranger, read something I have worked on for so long and critique it is horrifying. It is also necessary.
Luckily, I can handle criticism where writing is concerned. It is possibly the only area in which I have any confidence. This just confuses me that much more; why am I so frightened?
I think the bottom line is that I can handle general criticism, but what if she comes back and says "You have been deluding yourself and you have no talent and you can never be a writer go whistle!" OK, maybe not the last part, but you get my drift. I've always had great feedback on my work, but that was mostly from people who are a little biased IE. friends and family. And it was also about short pieces I wrote. Writing a novel is a totally different story, which I learned with every page I completed.
I try to focus on this as a learning process, but I can't lie and pretend that I am not scared and feeling more than a little exposed. What keeps me sane is that I am also pretty darned proud of myself for taking this step in spite of the vomity feelings.
With all of this talk of writing, I should probably link to a few stories I have had published to give an idea of what I have done. Here they are:
Him,
The Warning,
Grandfather's Day.
I am going to sip my ginger tea to settle my tum tum and wait out the month.
We went into this year with the attitude that 2013 is our year, make no mistake about it! After the first 2 months, do we still feel that way? The answer is shockingly yes. Let's just say the Lady has done her best to test our resolve, I guess to be sure that we really do want what we want. Anxiety and stress which led to getting sick, illness and death of extended family members, money stuff, blah blah blah.
How is it that we are staying positive? The fact is that there is no other option. The goals we have mean so much to us that we have no intention of failure.
So moving forward, I have taken the next step in one of my major goals; I sent the novel I wrote off to the editor I booked for mid-March. Scariest thing I have ever done!! My ultimate dream would be to support myself through my writing and this is the biggest step I have taken towards that. Showing my work to people I know is one thing, sending it to a stranger to be critiqued is something else entirely. Terrifying!
I am looking at it as an opportunity to learn. I want to become a better writer and to do that I have to put myself out there, as frightening as that is. I don't fear criticism, I am terrified of being told, "This sucks, what were you thinking?"
I'll keep you all updated on how the process goes. Here's hoping I haven't been deluding myself!
~ Denise
